I was over due....

 Yesterday I had what could have been a pretty disastrous ride.  So, although I have no media, I want to just unravel what worked and what did not.  I used his kimberwick the other day with the reins on the setting with the least leverage and the curb chain super loose.  We sent out did gallop sets and popped a few fences and it felt really good.  So that was the setup I tried yesterday.  I want to say that it was the wrong set up, but the issue is deeper than that. 

The night before I went and put the jumps up one hole, because he has been a star. So I went and started with our new jump warm-up - walking trotting and cantering the perimeter of the jump field on a loose rein.  The idea is that he can move and stretch as he wants.  Then I pointed at the gate.  It was maybe 2'3" or 2'6."  It should have been easily trot-able.  BUUUT he did not have enough power and got his hind legs caught.  

He was fine, but I should have known better than to just keep going like nothing happened, but he was rushing and way sucked back and at the next jump (a 2' oxer) he stopped and I went over his neck.  What followed was 30 mins of trash.  I was scared and too handsy which made him either underpowered and flinging himself over the jump or wildly running.  We tried trotting in and cantering out of simple lines and it was just devolving more and more. 

My husband has the patients of a saint and was trying to talk me through what I was doing on the front side of the jump.  We finally just took 15 minutes to talk about what I was feeling, and what my trainer usually has me do.  When I went to pick up the trot again, I finally noticed that I had let everything devolve into a scramble.

So I went to a loose reined circle around my husband working on woahing from my voice and seat.  when our trot was calm we went back through and popped the jumps like it was nothing.  Totally soft in the front and calm in the back.

My homework for myself is to stop letting my anxiety push me through.  It does not matter if do the work, if it is not soft and slow and calm.  I cannot accept the rushy trot and canter that comes as Uno get excited and I get nervous.  The gait HAS to be good.

I promise I will get this right sweet boy.